This blog post is geared to EVERYONE and ANYONE today: Women, men, daughters, grandmas, sons, cousins, EVERYONE. Why is it that when we get into relationships, we become more willing to sell ourselves short? Why do we drop our standards? Someone questions your favorite wine and suddenly, you are searching for ways to make them accept the fact that you just like it. UHHHH WHY ARE YOU SEARCHING? Your beliefs are YOURS for a reason, your quirks exist because you are simply YOU. Do not let a person, priority or not, determine if you like something or not.
What I'm saying is: do not lower your standards. Define what is ok, and outline consequences. I write this because I am often caught in this situation. I am the type of individual that gives 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 80th chances. Why? Because I believe in the good of all people... but when you are fighting so hard and breaking yourself down to make another person COMFORTABLE and HAPPY... you are sacrificing what you need. Why should you continue to let a situation perpetuate if the other person puts no action behind it.
Now, when I say standards, I don't mean a stereotypical list. For example;
- They must be in shape.
- They must be tall, dark and handsome.
- They must have every second of his life planned.
- They must have a PhD.
- They must have a do this, and this, and this and this.
NO. Of course women, keep your standards high, but not impossible. I'm talking about:
- They must go the extra mile for me.
- They must listen to me when I am speaking.
- They must make me laugh.
- They must know how to make me smile on days where there feels like there is no hope.
Go for the person that is going to write you a corny letter. That will pick you a flower off the side of the road. That will show up on your doorstep when you're not feeling well. The one that shows you respect the very SECOND you meet, and honors your wishes. The one that supports you during rough times, and celebrates your successes. The one that fights to be in your life. The one that sees YOU, and only you.
Don't change who you are because you think someone is right for you. If you are feeling uncomfortable and hesitant, chances are its for good reason. Take time to gather your thoughts, pick up the pieces and let each other go. Relationships are two-sided, so all that you want from them, they want from you too. Don't forget to keep that thought in check.
I could talk about this all night... but for ramblings' sake; I will bring this to an end. Remember to honor yourself and honor those around you. Everyone brings something different to the table... it is your choice to embrace that or walk away from it. Use your head and your heart to guide that beautiful soul... keep pushing. Life is a wonderful gift :)
