Things Have Changed

Well, it is about time I started blogging again... a lot has changed since my last post: the biggest obviously the fact that I moved across the country. Since my last update, I was accepted into City Year Miami, an Americorps program aimed at fighting the drop-out crisis in education. I have been living here for 2 months now, and the work has been perilous, but the small victories rewarding. I have met so many amazing people from all over the country, and some even more incredible students who I look forward to growing stronger bonds with & increasing their chances of succeeding in their educational career. It is insane that so many people have come together to help complete strangers... I'm awed by it everyday... and even though some days I feel like backing out, I know that I am here for a reason, and that reason is to touch the life of someone so that they might do the same in return. The only way to help our world from spiraling down into chaos as we all face struggles and hardships is to help each other & create a cycle of service.

Today we all earned our Red Jackets, which was incredibly real. It was so refreshing after a hard month in the schools to be reminded of why we came, and who helped pave our way to get to where we are now. I dedicated mine to both of my grandma's. My Grandma Burke passed away 3 years ago to bone cancer, my Grandma O'Sullivan is currently fighting a failing liver & resides in hospice. I think of them everyday... I wish I could see both of them. I know they are rooting for me though. A few weeks ago, I was able to facetime with my Grandma O while my parents were visiting her in Massachusetts. It was amazing to hear her tell me that I was pretty & to know that she knew I was ok in Florida. She was amazed at the technology of an iPad... The past few weeks have been stressful in the sense that I know it's only a matter of time before she passes.... but I pray that the universe keeps her strong & sends my positive thoughts to her daily. I'm dedicating my year of service to her & Grandma Burke because I want to channel their strength that they have shown me in the time I was blessed to spend with them.

I know that my blog started as a "food" & "fit" blog... but I am re-routing it to a wellness blog. I really nee a positive outlet right now as the last few weeks have taken a toll on me... I am searching for a balance of wellness. I have begun reverting to my older ways of stress-eating... and it is taking a toll on me... but I won't delve into that.

I will leave this post as is for now... but close with some words from the book I'm currently reading. "Spirit Junkie", by Gabrielle Bernstein. I have found solace in her writing... her words are healing, and as a damaged soul, I have truly been taking it to heart. She reinforces that just because your life may be in a recovery phase, or a slow climb from rock bottom.... there is always a way to turn it around.

"One fearful thought takes over our minds and creates our very own illusions. We were all innocent children who once believed in love. But there comes a point at which we forget love ever existed. We choose fear instead. We fear just about everything. We fear our careers, our family, our friends--we even fear the possibility that love could be real. Most of all we fear our own greatness."

Time to choose love & forgive the past.

All for the night... I can't sleep so I'll be cleaning.

All my love,
Emily